Shriek Elegance

A blog post, if only just to post this because it’s awesome.

I sat outside and read my book today since it was a bit cold downstairs (the AC is on) and I didn’t feel like going upstairs. I made sure to sunscreen it up before going out. It was such a lovely day. I enjoyed it. Hilariously enough, my arms/chest tanned, but my legs? The pastiest part of my body? No. No, it wasn’t feeling the tanning thing. I tried. So hard. (and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter). I could try a lower SPF next time (I was wearing 45). I just didn’t want to burn, really. I made sure to cover up my ears with my hair, too. Didn’t want my already second degree burn to go up any more degrees.

Speaking of my horrific ear, before I jumped in the shower today, when I was brushing my hair, I accidentally brushed my ear with the hairbrush and popped the burn blister on the back. Most painful thing ever. And then having to shower afterwards was worse. Shampoo in open blisters, not cool. I must have looked like a retard trying to wash my hair without getting soap on it. It hurt so much. I would rather get my helix pierced eight times than have to go through that again. Anyway… now it’s just extremely tender and throbby. And I think my ear may be slightly swollen or something because my glasses feel funny resting on it. I’m so thankful that we have an aloe plant, so if we ever run out of our tubed aloe, I can cut off a… branch? (does aloe have branches or leaves…?) and giv’er.

Anyway. I finished reading Lives of Girls and Women for class. Tomorrow, I start… To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. I’m hoping to finish it in one day. To help me with this ambition, I downloaded the audiobook. I just wish I could do something else productive while listening to the audiobook. I don’t want to just sit there and stare at the ceiling while I listen. I suppose I could read along… Ah well. We’ll see what happens when it happens. After this, I’ll have finished all of the novels and such for English and I’ll just have the suppplementary and theoretical readings to do every week. Also, my Syntax and Morphemes class starts on Monday (I know that sounds terribly boring, but I find it very interesting stuff). I’m stoked for Madagasy. And it’s Christine teaching. What’s better than sixteen hours of Christine a week? …When I say it in terms of hours per week, it just sounds horribly sad. Seven hours of Shona and sixteen hours of Christine for the next three weeks. Hm.

I still need to touch up my seminar paper for Monday. I also need to figure out what I’m going to write for my essay because the first draft is due for a peer edit in two weeks. I also need to write the journals I’ve missed. I wanted to try getting ahead in readings for Anth, but I don’t know that that will happen.

In other news, it is Mummy’s birthday on Wednesday. We may or may not be going to a movie of some sort. And, of course, ice cream cake. And a steak dinner. Nom nom nom nom nom.

I will hopefully be able to see Danny on campus a bit starting Monday. He’s around all day now because of work, so we can eat lunch together.

I suppose I should go to bed so I don’t sleep the majority of my day away… I must finish that book, after all.

Oh yeah, I got a new tattoo idea involving the Ragnarök, Sköll, Hati, and Jormungandr. However, I am having some issues with my original North Portal design, because to have it would be a reiteration of the other three, since they will be in such a way that signifies that Ragnarök is taking place. The reason I wanted the North Portal design is because I liked the stylized portrayal of it. So I’m at a bit of a standstill here, although I think I may have a way to fix it- if I can somehow get Sköll, Hati, and Jormy stylized like the North Portal, then all the things can mesh together to be awesome. ‘Cause, goddamn, I love that story. And not just ’cause there are wolves in it D<

RIGHT. BED TIME.

I got back at him in a quiet form of protest by changing plans this morning.

Take that. Ass.

I feel good about it. Yep. Don’t even feel guilty one bit.

I got a sunburn on my ear from being out in the sun all day yesterday. Ouchouch. Ouch. Nothing else burned, though. Just my ear. Which is impressive, considering I was out in the sun for nine hours and wasn’t wearing sunblock. I tanned a little. Not much. A little. Curse this unchanging not-quite-brown skin. I rolled up my pants while we were working in hopes I could make my legs less pasty. Only for a little while ’cause they are exceptionally pasty and have the potential to burn quite easily. I don’t know that it made much of a difference. They look the same as they did before.

Anyway… I need to go dry my hair now. Have to leave for the bus in half an hour. Schoooool -.-

[6:25pm]

Anaar (cousin) and Granny are coming to visit in July. Anaar I’m indifferent about. I haven’t seen her for eight years, I can only imagine how much less annoying she’s gotten. She was so young before. So young and so attached to me. All the time. It’s been eleven years since I’ve seen Granny. Hopefully I still live up to the “favorite grandchild” expectations.

Lots of Indian food in my summer’s future.

[7:07pm]

Apparently my cousin Nadeem and aunt Jayshree are coming as well. Lordy.

Also, holy crap. My ear is burnt so bad, it’s blistered. I’ve never burnt to the point of blistering before. Ouch.

And uhm. Some guys in a truck pulling a boat just screeched to a stop in front of our house, one guy got out, peed on the front driver’s side tire, fought with the guys inside, then got back in and they drove away. Uhhh. Gross. And what the hell. It’s too bad cops aren’t around so I could get them arrested for public urination and all around assholery. I wish. I’m feeling spiteful.

AND REALLY ITCHY OH GOD. Thank God for aloe.

Everything is just so fucked up. I’m seriously at the bottom of the bottom. I just want to get the fuck out of here. I don’t wanna sit here and just “deal” anymore. I’m tired of “dealing”.

I don’t even want to go to sleep because it will bring a time when everyone is awake again. Even though I haven’t really slept for days. I don’t want to sleep. My family drives me to not sleep! The lunacy of that statement!

I am in physical pain over my unhappiness.

I don’t know what to do. I just don’t. I don’t know what happens when you’ve reached your limit. But it’s making me nervous.

It’s really too bad I’m not good enough for either of them. It’s really too bad.

Well. Um. What’s been going on? Uhh.

Friday, we exchanged D&D for a LOTR marathon. We watched the first one normal, then the second and third extended editions. It went something like eleven hours or something. It was a very hilarious day.

I also started playing Plants vs Zombies during the… third movie? I think. We were all getting a little restless ’cause they were just talking at the time and it was getting a little boring. I ended up finishing the game Sunday evening. Good times. :] Still have minigames and stuff to do.

I finished Persona 4 on Saturday. ‘Twas a good, feel good ending. Which I suppose is nice after the horribly depressing (yet still equally as awesome) ending of P3. The whole experience has made me want to play P3 again. I might play it again and try to max out the social links so I can get Orpheus Telos. Again. Since I messed up by a day last play through. ORRR I might play P4 again and try to get the social links I missed. I didn’t get to see Yosuke’s or Rise’s evolved personas.

On the topic of games… I bought Digital Devil Saga 2! (Caution, link contains spoilers for anyone who has not played DDS1 and wants to) I found a copy on Ebay that was under $70 (super miracle). It’s just the game, I don’t get the cover art of the software booklet, but I can live without that. I can always print out the cover somewhere, I’m sure. Anyway! The point is that I have it and it is coming and I can finally answer the questions they left after the first one. I’m excited.

I’m currently waiting for EB Games to get more copies of Devil Summoner 2. Apparently they sold out within a few hours of getting them when they came in last week, so that’s a big bummer. I’ll have to keep calling back to see when the next ones get in. My MegaTen collection is slowly growing. I suppose it’s not that big… I have four right now. DS2 will make five. If I can somehow get my hands on Nocturne, which I would desperately like to have, that would make six. However, Nocturne is impossible to get a hold of at a reasonable price at this point in time. Craig and I are hoping they’re going to rerelease it in NA, since they did in Japan. I hear so many good things about it. I also want DS1. ARG, SO MANY GAMES I WANT BUT CAN’T GET. Sigh.

Oh yeah, I also wanna check out Valkyria Chronicles. I’ve heard very good things. Unfortunately, PS3 games are sew expensive >.< I’ll probably have to hold off on it for a while longer. I’ve got other games to hold me over, at least. Especially when DDS2 gets heeeeeere <3

We went and saw Terminator: Salvation on Saturday night. It was excellent, I enjoyed it. However, I might be biased, as Terminator was my childhood. >.>

We did our seminar in English yesterday. I thought mine was alright. Although, when I was actually reading it out loud, it felt way less intelligent than I originally thought. >.< Whatever. I just need to fix up the paper for it for Monday. Most of it is already written, so that’s good. Other than that, I need to finish the last two novels for the class by Monday so that I can work on my research paper next week. Which is also when my Anthropology course starts. Gah, time is going by too quickly. After Thursday, there are only six more English classes and nine Anthropology courses. AHHHHH. Summer term is half over! It’s a love-hate relationship. I love that I’m only taking two courses and that they end so quickly, but I hate that because they’re condensed, there’s so much more work. And… that they make time go by faster >.> At least I’ll have half a real summer this year. I haven’t had a real summer for two years. A whole two months of no school :o Hopefully I can fill it with a job. ARG STILL NO JOB.

I had originally planned to start my reading today, but Dad has decided that he wants to do the insulation in the attic thing today. I’ve been sitting here waiting for HOURS for him to be ready. I don’t know what the hell he’s doing, but it’s starting to get annoying. He ALWAYS does this. “I’ll be ready in five minutes, I’ll call you.” -three hours later- “OKAY I’M READY.” At least I have a walkie talkie this time. He can’t say that he called me without me hearing when he actually never did. Merf. What a waste of a day. There’s so much more I could complain about today, but I won’t.

I guess I’ll go back to sitting and waiting.

[3:51pm]

Shit. I forgot that I have to be enrolled in nine credits this summer over first and second term in order to keep my loan. Which means that I have to take Biomed Ethics… which means that I don’t get a summer this year after all. This also means that I need to take a course out of my schedule next year. So, sorry, Tyler, no Computer Ethics.

I had such hope for this year, too…

This also means that I won’t be able to visit you, Craig. I’m sorry. Again. :/

[5:46pm]

It took an hour to put one bag of insulation into the friggin’ fan.

THERE ARE FORTY BAGS.

AUGH. I AM SO ANGRY AT LIFE. I don’t even get to sleep in my own room tonight. Why? BECAUSE IT’S COATED IN INSULATION DUST. I HAVE TO SLEEP IN LEE’S ROOM INSTEAD. WHERE I PROBABLY WON’T GET ANY SLEEP. AGAIN.

I NEED SLEEP. I NEED FREE TIME TO DO MY HOMEWORK.

I NEED TO YELL REALLY LOUDLY.

UGH.

So I’m in my bed, asleep, and Mom barges into my room and is like, “why are you still asleep?! It’s almost 11!” I’m too tired to properly respond since she just woke me up so I was like, “uhhhh… I’unno” and then she proceeded to try to work out car usage since I have to get my tetanus shot at 2:30 and she needs to pick up Lee at 2. Was it really that much of an issue that I was still asleep…? I mean I was so tired ’cause I stayed up so late doing more reading for school. Then she went on to rant about how Dad said something before and is now saying something else and claims to have not said what he said before and she came to me to see if I could be a witness to what he originally said; unfortunately, I was not there when he said whatever he said and so she stormed out. Although, even though I wasn’t there, I believe my mom is right over him, because when it comes to remembering things that he’s said, she’s always right and he’s always wrong. He just refuses to ever admit it because he’s a stubborn ass.

Long story short, I’m going to have to somehow survive both of them being incredibly grumpy, and I don’t know if I can do that. In avoiding one, I’ll inevitably annoy the other one. -sigh- I could just hang out in my room again… but I’d really rather not. I mean, there are more readings that I could do to get ahead (which I am trying hard to do), but after two solid days of reading, I really just want to take a break. I was hoping to squeeze a few hours of P4 in today, but I’m afraid that their angry vibes will make me feel immensely guilty again.

We’ll see…

I’m kind of excited for my Anth class this summer. Yet kinda not. It looks super interesting and fun- we’re looking at the Malagasy language (the language spoken in Madagascar). However, it will be three months compressed into nine days and I am not so much looking forward to that. Thus my trying to get ahead in English so that when the other class starts, I don’t have to focus so much on the readings for English and can just focuse on the papers instead.

Phew. I should shower soon so I can be ready to take off.

[1:42pm]

I have to move 1,250 pounds of insulation from the garage to the upstairs deck.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Why couldn’t he do this, y’know, some day when I haven’t JUST showered and done my hair? Or maybe have done it the day he SAID he was going to do it, since I had planned it in then, rather than now, when I have not planned it in.

[3:21pm]

Well, the TD vaccination didn’t send me into anaphylactic shock. But it’s sure making the upper left side of my back sore and crampy. And my shoulder hurts, of course. Although, it was nice, for once, to get an injection that didn’t hurt excrutiatingly so. I didn’t even know the needle had gone in, let alone she was injecting. Man, why can’t my allergy stuff be like that?

Had a little breakdown and exploded last night, but all is well. Explosions make me feel better.

Was feeling pretty good today. Managed to finish two dull books for my lit class in less than 36 hours. Finished the second just before dinner. I was ready to venture back into the world. Then during dinner, Dad says, “you were supposed to help me today,” to which I replied, “I was reading. You could have come to get me.” After that? He said, accusingly, that he’s never seen me spend excessive amounts of time in my room before.

Really? Really? Does this man not pay attention to me so much unless it benefits him, that he hasn’t ever noticed how I can spend complete days in a row in there studying for exams, writing essays, or reading?

Has he really never noticed?

I swear he only sees the negative things about me. He weeds out one little, or big, flaw in myself and clings to it. He waters it and gives it sunlight so that it grows into a huge creeping vine that covers any good qualities I have that he already ignores because they’ll never be good enough.

Anyway, enough about that.

Saw Star Trek the other day. The movie was very good. The experience was not, but I don’t feel like getting into it.

I might try to see Terminator: Salvation this weekend (not Friday because there’s enough movie business going on). Probably Saturday evening or some such. If anyone is interested.

[12:38am]

I’ve read three books in less than 48 hours.

Not good.

I’m not good.

If you need to get a hold of me over the next couple of days, email me or leave an offline message. Or tweet. I’m not answering my phone, so don’t call.

Yes, we’re still on for Friday, for anyone who’s concerned.

I’m thinking starting tomorrow, it’s time to become a bit of a recluse for a while. I’m just so… tired and there are things I need to mull over. There isn’t any other way to get out from under the soul-piercing gaze of my parents. They walk in the room and waves of genuine guilt crash into my brain. I don’t go a single minute of daylight in this house without feeling on edge and it’s playing havoc with my nerves. It’s probably why I’ve been staying up until 3:30-4:30am every night. Late night is the only time I feel completely 100% comfortable. I don’t feel guilty and the house is completely silent. Cool air comes in through the sliding door and everyone’s in bed so there’s no one to come down here with their eyes. I don’t really know where I’m going to go. I guess I could hole myself up in my room, although it is dreadfully uncomfortable in there. Sad, when you think about it. My room is supposed to be my space. My space should be comfortable.

Nothing will change after a week of attempted seclusion, but at least I won’t have to deal with the guilt perpetually. They can’t catch me in my room.

Hey, hey, lucky stars, poker ain’t your game.

Oh lordy, working out my schedule for next year is a pain. First of all, the class that I was registered in for second term in the summer reappeared. However, I had already dropped it, since it had disappeared, so I don’t think I’m going to bother reregistering in it. The more I think about it, the less appealing biomedical ethics sound. Anyway, I’ve worked out a majority of what my schedule for next year will look like. I’ve just run into a few bumps along the way. Mainly because I need four higher level electives that aren’t English. It’s a tough one to work out. Also, Reading Gothic Film conflicts with Endangered Languages, and they’re both classes that I would really like to take. Endangered Languages would be nice because it would be the last higher level elective that I need, but if I drop Gothic Film, then I would have to take Holocaust Lit – which still wouldn’t be horrible, especially because Sarika is in that class, but I would really rather take Gothic Film. All of this would be oodles easier if I wasn’t forced to take one Canadian Lit course. Also, if I could just find a higher level elective to replace Endangered Languages, that would be ideal. Now, there is a higher level Japanese culture class that I can take (Modern Japanese Literature in Translation), which fills out the rest of my higher level elective requirements, it’s just that it runs until 6:30pm on Wednesday and I was really hoping to avoid having to stay that late, with bus schedules being a little wonky when it gets later. However, I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and take this Japanese Lit course so I can fulfill my requirement. Alwyn is teaching it, so that means it will be a very good course and the readings will be interesting. Unfortunately, it’s a three hour lecture, once a week. Ah well. After mulling this over while writing this, I think that’s the path that I’m going to take. So right now, the classes I hope to be taking are:

- ANTH 333 – Anthropology of Myth
- ANTH 320 – Central American Indigenous Medicine
- CRWR 217 – Intermediate Workshop in Creative Writing: Fiction
- ENGL 340 – Introduction to Old English
- ENGL 455 – Reading Gothic Film
- ENGL 470C – Canadian Studies: Search for Home
- JPST 365 – Gender and Japanese Language
- PHIL 331 – Computer Ethics
- SPAN 101 – Beginners’ Spanish I

Anyway, that’s my tentative schedule right now. Now I just need to hopefully get into everything. If I do, then I’m all set to graduate. :)

D&D was yesterday. Good times again. Although the dungeon we were in took a reaaaally long time to get out of. We ended up just getting out and calling it a night. We went up a level though. :D Also, I’m going to try to make a digital copy of my character sheet in Word so that it’s easier to replace values, rather than erasing my poor character sheet paper over and over and over. It’ll take me a while to work it out in a way that I like it, but it’ll make everything easier.

I think I’m just gonna take it easy today and start all of my readings tomorrow. I’m pretty tired from last night still. And after spending yet another hour and change working on my course schedule, I’m ready for some Persona 4 R&R.

Speaking of which, Craig found an anime based off of the events of P3 (happens 10 years later, apparently), so I’ve been downloading that. Actually, it will be finished downloading in approximately seven minutes. Cool beans.

S’all, folks.

ALSO, I need help deciding between German and Spanish. Drop me a comment if you have any opinions or ideas plz.

[8:20pm]

Changed some classes. See above for new list.